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After all, many individuals find it difficult to avoid or get out of the "friend zone" and build a romantic connection with a friend (see here and here).Similarly, "nice" men and women often feel like they finish last in relationships, being picked over for "bad" boys and girls who appear more desirable (see here).
The results of both experiments supported a distinction between liking and desiring—as well as the possibility of the processes working in opposition.In other words, satisfying your partner's needs or wants increases how much they satisfying a partner's needs may keep them passionately pursuing you and trying to please you, but will eventually lead to dislike, dissatisfaction, and animosity.The key is balance—intermittent rewards and a bit of tension. Consider three scnarios for the partners Chris and Pat: Every time Pat even hints at a want or need, Chris is quick to fill it.In the first experiment, some participants failed to win a prize, while others succeeded.In the second experiment, some participants were denied an reward, while others received it.
As the title suggests, the researchers were interested in exploring whether our motivation for liking something might be separate from our motivation to want or desire it—and if these motivations were separate, could they sometimes be in conflict with each other?