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Posted by / 03-Nov-2017 06:15

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Megan, a single medical student in her mid-20s, talks about her sex app experience: When out at a club a few months ago I decided to give one of these apps a try and turned on Blendr.

I swear, in less than two minutes this guy I'd never met or seen -- David -- started texting me.

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As such, any jam-packed venue is now a prime cruising spot for app-aware people looking to get laid. Within three months I ended up getting fired for sneaking out of work to hook up.

This entire genre of apps has in effect turned your local dog park, museum, mall, and crowded train station into a gigantic "singles" bar (though not everyone is single). And if you have traditionally been the kind of person too shy to make the first move -- no worries, as long as your app is open it is actively signaling your availability, so it won't be long before someone finds you. And just as bad, two guys I genuinely liked dating dumped me when they found me cruising Grindr while they were in the other room making dinner or on the phone. But I still haven't been able to put the thing away and stay away.

Looking for Love and Sex Online is Old News For the better part of the past two decades online bulletin boards like Craigslist, dating websites such as e Harmony and Match.com, and endless pay-for-play sexual hookup websites have provided the single, lonely, horny, cheating, or simply bored man or woman with the fastest and most direct route to meet, date, romance, and/or simply have sex. As modern life has shifted away from the home or office-based computers and become all about the smartphone, we now have apps that allow us to literally "hook-up" on the go.

Smartphone "friend finder" apps like Ashley Madison (for marrieds and partnered individuals seeking "out of the roost" sex), Skout and Blendr (for single straight men and women), Grindr (to find male-male partners) or Pink Cupid (to find lesbians and bisexual partners) -- among many others -- are actually friend finders . households now own at least one smartphone, it seems reasonable to assume that increasing numbers of people are eagerly following this app-created breadcrumb trail to sex with strangers wherever and whenever time and circumstances allow.

But David and I did hook up that night, and quite a few times since, totally without strings, but also having a lot of fun. When out to dinner with friends I would set my phone to silent so it would merely vibrate in my pocket when someone was looking to connect with me.

And just like that, the days of being rejected when out clubbing or trying to pick someone up at a party are a thing of the past.

With sex apps there's no muss, no fuss, just the act itself and a handshake on the way out, thank you very much.

The Dangers of Convenient Sex Unfortunately, much like a casino app in the hands of a compulsive gambler, those struggling with sexual addiction and similar sexual problems see sex finder apps as the equivalent of crack cocaine. Rico's story aside, sex finder apps have for most healthy people generated a reliable new source of casual romantic and sexual encounters, offering a readily available, mostly free source of brief sexual encounters and connection. One important recommendation for anyone choosing to enter the "friend finder" world is to make sure they have genuine clarity about what it is they want.

And, as with all addictions, whether to substances or behaviors, the consequences to the active abuser can be profound. If you're devoted to finding a spouse or long-term partner, a traditional dating website is probably a much better option than Blendr.

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Rico, a 32-year-old gay guy, had this to say about his experience: Just after a friend introduced me to Grindr, by the end of the first week, without giving it much thought, I'd had three previously unknown sex partners over to my place. If you are in a primary relationship and looking to cheat -- apps likely are your fastest route to sex and potential relationship problems.

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